sassybabushka:

My friend knows someone who keeps all her money in a  hollow dildo. If you don’t think that’s genius, just imagine a robber stealing from a teenage girl’s room. Is he going to look in the dildo? Is he even going to want to touch the dildo?? No. A hollow dildo is safer than any safe or lock. 

Be safe, kids. Keep your money in a dildo.




guy:

bagmilk:

7 year olds are fucking assholes

i can’t believe so many kids are starting anal at such a young age

(Source: heteroh)




tonythehumanboy:

missycvnt:

tell me what’s next, alien sexx

I feel this needs to be a tee or atleast a pair of boxers?

destinyandcoins:

i-learned-it-from-the-pizzaman:

a-ckleholic:

i-learned-it-from-the-pizzaman:

Jensen Ackles’s face perfectly fits the golden ratio mask of perfect facial proportions and symmetry.

Well.. yeah.. because he’s perfect. What did you expect? A flaw? 

HE IS WHO DA VINCI WAS SEARCHING FOR!!!!!!

This is why when you combine his face with anyone’s on facemorph.com that person instantly becomes 10x more attractive.




jerkidiot:

my mom always throws old clothes that she has nothing to do with in my closet, and whenever i call her out on it, she says “i have never done that, all of the clothes in your closet are yours”

image

are you sure mom

image

are you sure these are my clothes